Smart People and Polar Bears

I've been keeping up with the tragic news of the professor from Alabama who shot up her colleagues, apparently after being denied tenure.  A few days ago I was part of conversation with colleagues regarding the exploits of profs at some of the most prestigious schools in the country.  While they may have been geniuses in their fields... such discernment obviously did not translate into other areas of life.  How can people so smart be so incredibly stupid?  I know, I know - the answer is sin, total depravity, blah blah blah...  Such answers are not very satisfying.

I've been teaching at the college level now for almost 4 years.  I'm in the midst of trying to get into a PhD program (emphasis on the "trying" part).  I recently read the blog entry of a woman who has seemingly been rejected by a program she thought she had a good chance of getting into.  Her words reminded me of the politics involved with the process - not that the many other aspects of life are any less political.  The process of applying to 7 different programs, visiting 4, being silently rejected by 1, left waiting by the other 6 - has been eye opening.  Don't get me wrong... I met with many wonderful scholars of high integrity with whom I would love to study.  I also have, at this point anyway, a positive feeling about beginning a PhD program - even after listening to some well intended people tell me about the dark night of the soul that is the dissertation.  That being said I can't help but wonder about a simpler life.  By simple I don't mean a life without problems... a friend recently reminded me that to switch professions is to trade one set of problems for another.  What I mean by "simpler" is to take life as it is given... to not have to dissect every word, every action - to live a healthier distance from the abyss of cynicism.

I don't pretend to understand why smart people do very stupid things.  Yes... I'm sure depravity has something to do with it.  This afternoon I watched my kids play in a snow cave that I dug out for them -  they were pretending to be polar bears trekking across the arctic snow.  I tried to remember what it was like to lose oneself in play... to act like a polar bear without having to philosophically justify the ontological possibility of actually being a polar bear.  Maybe I'll spend the night in the snow cave and give it a try.

A Good Pagan

I sometimes think I would have made a wonderful pagan.  I love the music of Led Zepplin... their sound makes me think of druids and norsemen - in part because it makes me think of The Lord of the Rings.  The pulsing beat of heavy metal music has made me happy ever since I began to learn to play the guitar... nothing gives me more pleasure then a power chord fused with gutteral screams and a 4/4 rhythm.

 I love to experience and reflect upon the natural world.  Even though I am deeply immersed in a tradition that emphasizes the development of creation - most of the time I want to leave it alone.  I find there is something awe inspiring about the sight of ruins... the created world taking back our human attempts to control the natural world.  Lately I've been reading Norse myths - maybe as an attempt to recover my heritage - or relive my comic book days.  I loved reading comics about Conan the Barbarian and Thorr, and I am particularly fond of Tolkien's essay On Fairy Stories in which, while discussing the relationship between history and myth, he envisions the voice of an angry red haired Scandinavian farmer thundering through the mountains.

I'm teaching the Theology senior sem. course again this semester - which I very much enjoy.  Last time I taught it I had students read G.K. Chesterton.  I appreciate Chesterton's generosity (except, ironically, toward Calvin and Calvinism!).  I can't remember the source but I do recall reading a selection in which he discusses how Christianity does not abolish the festivals of paganism... it absorbs them.  Christianity takes them up - changes their focus - and allows the party to continue.  For Chesterton Christianity provides the freedom to engage, and dare I say enjoy, ancient mythology, greek philosophy, and Led Zepplin.  The tradition of which I am a part wants to discern all things pagan from all things that are biblical and therefore distinctly Christian.  A difficult endeavor - more difficult then we are willing to admit I think - but I get it.  But I will always have a Chesterton side to my theology because it gives me the freedom to be a bit pagan... to be able to be Christian and still listen to Them Crooked Vultures.