I'd be lying if I said it didn't sting at first. I have this feeling - what I call my tingly Spidy sense - when I get such news. But it came and went, I told my wife (who was disappointed), and then I got on with it. Back to the salt mine... to try again.
This past semester I had some very interesting discussions with students on the topic of failure. Out of 16 freshmen in my Core 100 class 14 of them admitted they were afraid to fail. They were afraid they couldn't live up to the expectations their parents and loved ones had of them. Some admitted the only reason they were at Dordt was to fulfill these expectations. Others said "better to not try and fail... then to give it some effort and come up empty". At least if you don't try, so the thinking goes, the failure doesn't really stick.
I come from a blue collar family - and the older I get the more I appreciate it. I'm not trying to say one gets used to failing... but when you have to fight for everything... when you get knocked down you know you have to get back up. I remember in college struggling to find my niche- doing homework, going to class, working at the local Super Valu bagging groceries - the whole while wondering if I fit in academia. From time to time I would have to channel my inner Lief (if you've heard stories about my grandpa you know what I mean) and say #$%@ it! Put my head down and go for it. Sometime it worked out... sometimes it didn't. Yet hear I am...
I believe we need to give young people the freedom to fail. We need to give them space to explore - to try different things - and totally bomb. Maybe we need to start celebrating certain failures... giving them credit for having the guts to go for it instead of just playing it safe. Look, I realize there are limits. We need to have dreams for our kids and our students. But we also need to encourage them to do what they want to do... free from the burden of our expectations.
So here's to getting knocked on our cans... getting back up, shaking off the dust - and getting back in the game.
3 comments:
So, what does this look like in college, where if you fail, sure you can do the paper over, but you don't have time to, because You hardly had time to do the first one. Or, the fact that if you don't do well in a course, specifically in the sciences, not many employers will be too excited about you. Most hardly accept anything less than a 4.0 Should we give effort scholarships that reward people for trying and failing at new things? I agree with what you are saying here, I'm just curious of what your vision is for how this might work at the college level, or any level of academia... I too am one who feels the pressure not to fail from many different places... perhaps it is illegitimate but it is still there... thoughts????
Makes two of us Jason :/
I remember a boy (man), who was going off to college and didn't know which direction he wanted to go in... Music his all time love or maybe teaching, or maybe even something different all together. I recall sitting on a dock listening to this man tell me about his insecurities, what if he fails. Now I knew this man-child and knew that no matter his direction, failure was not an option. He would be an AMAZING person which ever direction he went in. The people lives that he touched would always be wishing him well, and not "see" his failure only his accomplishments. You have achieved so many wonderful things, your "failures" as you see them are only stepping stones to your great achievements. Congratulations Jason - you are amazing
Post a Comment