An Insider

This past week my family and I took a trip down to Asheville, North Carolina where I gave a few presentations at the Youth Unlimited Convention. The presentations went fine, and western North Carolina is beautiful - a place I could easily see myself living for awhile. On the way back we stayed at a hotel in southern Illinois where I had an interesting conversation with a complete stranger.

For those who don't know, or don't care, I haven't cut my hair in over a year and a half. Its long and everybody has an opinion about it. My mother keeps asking my wife, secretly of course, when I'm going to cut it. Most people make some smart comment about being a professor - as if I'm trying to live up to some stereotype. My wife tells me I have a man crush on David Grohl (The lead singer of the Foo Fighters) - which actually may be quasi true. Whatever the reason for my barber boycott (I'm not even sure I know...) my appearance make over has led to some interesting experiences. I find there is a certain type of person for whom my long shaggy hair and unkempt beard puts them at ease. They find me approachable - like I'm one of "them" - whoever "them" is.

So I was standing outside the hotel the other morning - smoking a clove and reflecting upon the trip ahead of us - when a women in her 50's came outside and lit up a cigarette. As soon as she saw me she walked over and just started talking. She talked about how smokers are like social outcasts these days - kicked to the curb. She told me about her son - who she was going to visit - and the Sports bar and grill he has just opened in Kentucky. When I told her we were coming back from North Carolina she reminisced about a rebellious excursion to North Carolina with her friends when she was about 18 years old... for which she was grounded. "But it was totally worth it," she told me.

Maybe I'm making too much of it - but it seems to me you can tell who has lived a tough life. The way people talk can tell a tale of hardship and struggle. This woman didn't say so... but for some reason I think she's seen some things. I didn't say very much - I just listened and gave a few courtesy laughs - but she must have enjoyed our conversation because when I saw her in the elevator with her husband he asked "Is this the fellow you were talkin' to outside?"

Would I have had that conversation if I were sipping a latte, clean shaven with a preppy hair cut? Maybe - but I doubt it. Numerous people joke that I look like Jesus. Maybe that's why people want to talk to me.